Welcome to My Full-Time RV Living LifeStyle Blog!

I suppose I should mention that this is an RV blog. The picture of me standing beside a motorhome in the banner probably tipped you off to that fact already, but you know how it is with blogs, any body can put anything in the header.

Anyways, I was born, raised, and live in Maine, I have 12 cats, and some people would call me homeless. Nope, I have a home, I just don't have what people call a standard house. My house has wheels and her name is Rosebud. My backyard stretches on for thousands and thousands of miles all the way from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean.

Once upon a time I had a "regular home" but a flood came and took it away. Me and my cats spent the next 3 years living under a 8x6 tarp and survived through 3 blizzards and Maine's coldest winter on record when the temps hit -48F. After that me and the cats moved in a Volvo. As hard as it is to live in a tent with 12 cats, it's even harder to live in a Volvo with 12 cats, and a motorhome named No Hurry was the answer. No Hurry: my home, my office, my RV.

I plan to use this blog to share my thoughts, ideas, adventures, and advice on being self-employed, living and working a full-time RV LifeStyle with an army of cats, while boondocking in the wonderful (and sometimes sub-zero) state of Maine.

I hope to write a post a day featuring random thoughts as they pop into my head, and hopefully 2 or 3 posts per week will focus on something helpful to those seeking to live in an RV full time. If you've any thoughts, ideas, or suggestions on what sort of posts you'd like to see me write, please comment and let me know.

I hope you all have as much fun reading this blog as I know I'll have writing it.

~Wendy

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

FQAs: Why do you write?


Why do you write? If you go beyond the practiced interview answers and the short cliques and the casual conversation answers, what are the real reason(s) you write? 




Why do I write? That's a good question, really. I don't know. Never really thought about it. Let's see if I can't figure this out. For starters, I write to converse with others. I have Autism, verbal speech is difficult for me. I type to be heard, same way you would speak to be heard. But that's daily conversation and I suspect your question is more towards book writing, so let's think about that.

Why do I write books? I suppose it depends on the type of thing I am writing. I write in several genres (horror, sci-fi, romance) and lengths (short story, novella, short novels, and children's early readers) and types (fiction, non-fiction, RPGs, plays, comics) and styles (prose, script, how to). For each of the above I think I have different methods, different hows, and  different whys.

For example, when I write a non-fiction article on Autism, usually it is because someone has just made some sort of rude ill informed false statement about me and I am writing the article to clarify their mistake and end the stereotypes about my illness.

And when I write a how to guide for writers, usually it is because several folks have asked me several questions on the same topic and I came to realize there was a common need for this issue to be answered.

In my travel writing or book and movie reviews, you have me writing because I enjoyed something and want to share that joy with others by recommending they check this thing out as well.

However when I am writing fiction, the why do I write become far more complicated. Yes, I have Autism. This means my life is plagued by the presence of "imaginary friends" and "visions", which is what other folks say to describe the Faeries, Ghosts, Angels, and Aliens I see, hear, and talk to on a daily basis for the past 40 years. By the time I reached the age of 8 years old it was very clear to me that no one else could either see or hear these Spirit Beings and Dead People that I was literally seeing hundreds of thousands of, around every one and in every house in every place I went. There have been varying opinions on what I see, from my being "crazy" to me "having a gift". The few folks who believe I actually am seeing something that is real, believe me because they say I give perfect description of people in their lives who died.

In any case, I was very young when I realized that it was in my own best interests to stop talking to these "invisible" people out loud. They were telepathic, I didn't need a voice to speak to them. The problem was, I could not tell the difference between "real" people and "invisible" people and to stop talking to one, meant I had to stop talking to all, and thus, like all Autistic children who reach the age of realizing adults are mean hateful people who think of children as bothersome embarrassments to society to be ignored, disregarded, teased, laughed at, and told to stop talking to "imaginary friends" in public, I stopped talking, and would not talk again for near on 30 years. I could not tell the real people from the people I was not suppose to talk to because others could not see them, and so I was about 8 years old when I simply stopped talking all together.

That's when I started writing. I write about the people I'm not allowed to talk about. It is as simple as that. People often read my books and tell me I develop wonderful characters and ask how I created them, and are than baffled by my answer: "I didn't create them." How did you pick their names? "They are they names they had when I met them." Are you saying they are real? "I've been saying they were real for 40 years, you just weren't listening." It is debatable if my works of fiction are fiction or not, because these things are in my head. I do not make them up, I simply write them down. I can not tell you how to create them, for I did not create them myself. I simply write what I see.

It bothers people, I know, but the fact of the matter is, this is why I write.




------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ever wonder what it was like to live with Autism? 
--
I have Autism. For more of my life I rarely spoke and was considered "too crazy" to ever live a normal life. I communicated via writing instead of vocally. I did not attend school. Psychologists said I would never drive a car, never get a job, never go to college, never function as a meaningful member of society, never be able to take care of myself or live on my own. They said there was no hope for me, I would need full-time care my whole life. 
--
My progression was long and slow and very hard. Things other people found easy to do (getting dressed, brushing teeth/hair, walking across the street, etc,) I found extremely confusing and hard to learn. I was prone to wandering off and getting lost (I still am). Driver's ed takes most people a few weeks to learn - it took me 5 years. 
--
I determined to prove the doctors wrong, but it was far harder to do, than most people would imagine. I got my first job working at Macy's at age 30 (a very difficult job as I had to deal one on one with customers and I still at that point was not talking in a manner that could be understood by others). I got my GED at age 34. I got my driver's license at age 35. I started college at age 36. By age 37 I had become a Phi Theta Kappa Honor Student and I was finally able to speak to others in full spoken verbal conversation for the first time in my life. 
--

Something that people often say to me is: "You don't look retarded, you look normal, you seem to be getting by okay, why is it that you need adult supervision?"
--
One of the reasons why an adult with Autism needs “adult supervision” is their brain does not tell them they are in pain. Was just commenting on the FaceBook status of a friend who got hurt, and it occurred to me that a lot of people don’t understand how it is I had 4 root channels awake and without pain meds, or how I also sat through reconstructive surgery on my face, after having my lip ripped off by a rooster, or again when I had surgery for CTS, or how I can go weeks with a broken bone and not know it is broken. Over the years, people who really, really, REALLY know me well, have come to know that if I say the words “I hurt” than, I’m in a state of needing to have been taken to the hospital, several weeks ago, as doctors put it “her propensity for pain is astounding, look at what I’m doing, she’s not even flinching and I haven’t given her anything for the pain”.
--
When I went to the dentist, because my teeth hurt, the girl at the desk told him “she can wait, she doesn’t seem to be in any pain” an hour later he was giving her hell for not rushing me to the hospital, because my jaw was so bad I needed surgery to remove my teeth and have a plate put in. (yes, I have false teeth on one side of my jaw) .
--
I am thinking of all the times I have required major medical repairs, because I didn’t know I was hurt and it took those around me several weeks to realize, I don’t respond emotionally or physically to pain.  I fell down and hurt my arm last year – did the ice thing: for 3 days, than Ben comes over and asks me “what’s wrong with your arm?”, and I tell him I fell down and it hurts, can’t move it, but I’m okay; he looks at it than next thing I know he’s in a panic driving me to the hospital. Yep, it was broken and I didn’t know it. 
--
The doctors where baffled at why the hell did I wait 3 days to go to the hospital, than they look at my medical records “oh, Autism, that’s why”, unfortunately, one of the stranger symptoms of Autism is, a numbing of the senses, the whole being allergic to everything from sunlight to wool to food, means my body is so used to hurting, that when I’m hurt really bad, it doesn’t send a message to my brain telling me I need help, instead my brain goes “ho hum, more pain, so what?” and the chemicals that are suppose to be triggered to tell me “hey, I’m hurt really bad here, I need to go to the hospital” don’t kick in, so I can go for days (or weeks as was the case when I broke my hip 2 years ago) before someone around me notices somethings wrong, and asks “hey, why are you limping”, and I’ll say “oh, got beaten up a few weeks back, hurt my leg, couldn’t walk for the first few weeks”…”why didn’t you go to the hospital”…”it doesn’t hurt that bad”…”but, it’s a broken bone!” … “really?”
--
It’s one of the reasons I need “adult supervision  in spite of being in my 40′s, because my brain doesn’t pick up on the fact that I’ve been injured.
--
I suppose more frightening than “not knowing” I’m injured is when I have a stroke and continue on my day like normal, but wander around with out a clue where I am or who any one is. I’ve had 3 strokes in the past 3 years, that’s why I keep forgetting things when playing D&D, I mean, I know every edition of this game inside out and I’ll be mid game and suddenly have no a clue what to do. I had a stroke again, a few weeks ago, that week I missed the game session, when I told my friend I wasn’t feeling good, I had spent most of the day wandering around the campus without a clue where I was or what I was doing there, missed my classes that day because I couldn’t find the buildings, I only randomly meet up with my friend and for some reason remembered I was suppose to play a game that night, otherwise I wouldn’t have known to tell her I was going home.
--
It’s upsetting actually, to know you are in a place where you should know where you are, but just not recognize anything. I’ve been without “adult supervision” 6 years now, and for the most part I do good, but it’s when I get hurt/injured/sick that I run into trouble, because my brain just lacks whatever it is it needs that would normally tell me to go to a hospital.  I’ve got a permanent injury now from waiting so long before realizing my leg was broken. 
--
Autism is noted for being an illness so painful that the brain shuts down and stops registering the pain. This is why Autistics have their strange little jerks, twitches, and jumpy movements - these are times when pain is registered in our brain. The extreme constant pain is caused by over stimulation of things we are allergic to: lights, sounds, touch, most all foods, most all fabrics, tags in clothes, etc, etc, etc. There are so many things irritating our bodies all at once, that the brain doesn't know which pain to go after first, so it just shuts down and tells us to sit on the floor and hum a song until the pain goes away.
--
Unfortunately another symptom of Autism is being very clumsy, having a lack of proper balance, and thus fallen down frequently, having extreme difficulty maneuvering on stairs and uneven terrain (all this being a result of the fact that our brain is so out of whack because there is so much pain going on, that it can not focus on walking steady) which means I'm more prone to fall and become injured than the average person, but being so used to pain that my brain ignore extra pain also means that even though I am getting hurt more than normal, I'm also getting treatment for said injuries less than normal because I don't realize I've injured myself (not even when gushing blood, as was the case when the rooster ripped my lip off), unless another person is there to point out said injury, or in such instances as the day I tried to walk away and discovered I could not move because may hand had been shut in the door, which was locked and I had to wait for someone with a key to come along and open the door, by which time my fingers had turned black from lack of circulation - pain ignored - I only noticed my hand was shut in a locked door because I was unable to walk away from the door. This is why I need adult supervision.)
--
This is the reality of life with Autism.

--
Now you can find out what it's like Being an Adult with Autism

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Good morning Starshine! Liked this post? Looking to connect with me online? I love social networks and am on most of them. You can find me on: BloggerEtsyFaceBookGoogle+Keen, LinkedInMySpaceNaNoWriMoProBoardsScript FrenzySpoonflowerSquidooTwitterULC Ministers NetworkWordpress, and Zazzle Feel free to give me a shout any  time. Many blessings to you, may all your silver clouds be lined with rhinestones and sparkle of golden sunshine. Have yourself a great and wonderful glorious day!

~Rev. Wendy C. Allen aka Empress EelKat of Laughing Gnome Hollow



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


This post was written by Wendy C Allen aka EelKat, is copyrighted by The Twighlight Manor Press and was posted on Houseless Living @ http://houselessliving.blogspot.com and reposted at EK's Star Log @ http://eelkat.wordpress.com and parts of it may also be seen on http://www.squidoo.com/EelKat and http://laughinggnomehollow.proboards.com  If you are reading this from a different location than those listed above, please contact me Wendy C. Allen aka EelKat @ http://laughinggnomehollow.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=viewprofile and let me know where it is you found this post. Plagiarism is illegal and I DO actively pursue offenders. Unless copying a Blog Meme, you do not have permission to copy anything appearing on this blog, including words, art, or photos. This will be your only warning. Thank you and have a glorious day! ~ EelKat



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Did you know you can now get a FREE Kindle for your PC? Be sure to download your FREE Kindle directly from Amazon today. Don't have Windows PC? No worries! Amazon is also offering 100% FREE Kindles for: AndroidWindows Phone 7MaciPhone, and BlackBerry. And don't miss out on over 1.8 million Free eBooks from Amazon's Kindle Store.



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No comments:

Post a Comment